Not Born Yesterday........
ANT & DEC COME CLEAN: AFFIRMATIVE PORG ACTION GOT US TO WHERE WE ARE
Television 'act' dwarves Ant & Dec fessed up this week to the fact that they are talentless Geordie pants and without the Porg Relations Commission they would still be playing Doll's House theatre in Lilliput.
Said ITV Dwarf Tsar Michael Grade, "Yes, it's true, they are complete wankers, but the PRC forced us to employ them."
....takes a closer look at Ant & Dec phenomenonandon
Ant and Dec were quick to deny this evening that they are very, very small indeed. "We're actually an average of eight feet tall" said Dec, "But the Telly companies kept usin' huge props so we could get the Porg affirmative action, like." But we can now exclusively reveal that Ant is 0.003 millimetres tall, whereas Dec is a giant measuring some 19.3 feet from head to tootsies. Spokesmidgets at ITV told nby "They're lovely fellas and to see them having come this far without any visible talent at all is very pleasing for all of us who believe in equality no matter what your ability". |
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