BEAK ARCHIVE/NOT BORN YESTERDAY
Everyone sacked: Official
The world is entirely daft or demonic, and there doesn't seem to be anywhere sane and pleasant in between. This at last has been made plain by the BBC's thinly disguised strategy of firing everyone who gets high ratings as a means of cutting costs.
But the true nature of our contemporary cultural madness was summed up in this lulu of a quote from Lesley-Anne Alexander, God Bless Her but preferably keep her to Yourself, the RNIB's spokesperson and all-round rentagob. She dived into Clarkson's Eyegate shocker to utter the following dangerous bollocks:
"Any suggestion that equates disability with incompetence is totally unacceptable"
We are reminded (well I am, anyway) of the Cook & Moore sketch about a one-legged Tarzan. My Auntie Molly only had one leg, and she laughed so hard at this sketch I thought her corset was about to burst. More recently, we are reminded of an inept, corrupt, womanising blind bloke who became our Home Secretary, and blithely set to demolishing most of our liberties. (As I've written before, I genuinely do think - because my brain is still functioning normally - that his blindness was contributory to an inability to understand personal privacy).
The idea that all disabled people are both nice and competent is so completely illogical and stupid, it could only have come from the affirmative action tendency: but the belief is now spreading throughout our hopelessly ill-educated and dependent culture - and if it takes offensive remarks to jolt people back into clarity, then so be it. Lest we forget, had Brown not played the one-eyed sympathy card in that infamous, vomit-inducing 2007 election broadcast, only a few Westminster insiders would ever have known the bloke has a marble where his aqueous humour should be.
Richard III was a hunchback who specialised in sticking red-hot pokers up Princes' bottoms. Josef Goebbels had a club-foot and poisoned his children - all six of them. Stalin was a paranoid schizophrenic who ordered ffiteen million deaths. Thomas Hobbes was profoundly deaf but suggested executing any and all State enemies. Lord Birt has acute verbal dyslexia. Alistair Darling has neither spine nor conversation. All disabled, all unpleasant - and all (in the end) utterly incompetent.
Is it, I wonder, that people in high positions these days are just (a) dumb (b) untrained in either logic or consequences (c) unable to recall anything from school history or (d) strangely mutated towards a naive belief in the innate goodness of everyone from Iqbal Sacranie to Vladimir Putin?
Most of the time, Jereboam Klaxon is a witty writer who talks some sense and much tosh. Deservedly (follow the link above) he is regularly pilloried in these pages. But sack him for calling Brown a one-eyed idiot? The only sadness in this whole affir is that the bully-boy apologised.
No: Gordon Brown will remain at Not Born Yesterday with the soubriquet he was so justly awarded three years ago: The One-Eyed Trouser Snake. He is a ghastly man, and if more people had spotted this a decade ago, we would almost all of us be better off today.