Laughing at the present/Thinking about the future
REVEALED: THE ROYAL SHAME THEY TRIED TO KEEP QUIET, SWEEP UNDER THE CARPET SO IT REMAINED SECRET AND NOT LET ANYONE KNOW ABOUT IT AT ALL EVER, COVERING IT UP IN A CONSPIRACY OF SILENCE UNTIL A BENT COPPER TIPPED US THE WINK, AND SAY NO MORE SQUIRE.
Glasgow socialite Strachan....'denies everything'
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The Cover Story: Lord Linley snorting while being snorted. (I mean come on, the bloody stuck-up Windsors never liked him anyway)
Nby Says: What a load of old cock!
The buried news item: Prince Harry questioned about rare birds at Sandringham.
Nby Says: Harry may have thought the birds had flown - wrong, Ginger features!
SCROLL DOWN FOR MORE SENSATIONAL REVELATIONS.....
ROYAL PRINCE AND CELTIC MANAGER 'JOINED FIVE IN BED GINGER ORGY'
claims Glaswegian housewife Morag McScrewam
The House of Windsor was rocked to its only recently-underpinned foundations this week as vivacious call-girl Morag McScrewam alleged that she had been one of three redheads sharing a bed on the Balmoral Estate. Although the media were fed red herrings about bird-shooting on the Sandringham Estate, we* can now reveal that the only reds in the bed were at Balmoral...or Ballymoral as we should perhaps now be calling it.
"Och hen, there was the fave of ozz" shapely Morag, 43, told our reporter Rory McLemon, "An' ah tell ye, that bladdy Harry, heezza fookin' pairv.....it was ginger or nuthan for ham...there wuzz me, ma mate Eileen, hair mate Jeannie and this Strachan bloke all writhan aboot".
Harry.....'likes hedgehogs'
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* Actually, only Ms Mcscrewam claims this.
Look here Hamish, can you really make all this shit stand up? Only we've only got this prozzer's word for it, and it's not as if we're dealing with fucking Jeffrey Archer here and let's face it even he got off. Alex x
OK sod it, let's drop it and go with the Mandelson gay Hungarian four commissioners in a four-poster thing. Hame xx