'LUCKY' LEVY

BEATS RAP AS FEDS CLOSE IN   

MOB BAG-MAN ALL SMILES AS COPS CONCEDE DEFEAT

BIG TONY BLAIRITTI SKIPS TOWN BUT 'NOT INVOLVED' SAYS D.A.

'DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH' YELLS BABY-FACE CAMERON AS NEWS ANNOUNCED TO STUNNED NATION

By Walter Winchell

Flashing his famous smile for newshounds today, Lucky Leggsy 'Lucre' Levy Luciano told them "Well guys, I'm sure glad to give yooz a story, but dis whole banana was just a bunch of crap from de foist. I'm tellin' yooz, dem cops never had a thing on me". He then gave more smiles and told reporters "me an' a few of the guys  will be, y'know, havin' a quiet celebration later with a few broads".

Federal investigators looked grim-faced, but Special Agent Eliot Yates admitted that his crack team of Mets "just couldn't make it stick". Also posing for cheesecake-shots was gangster's moll Ruthie 'Numbers' Turner, known to be close to Big Tony Blairitti, still wanted on charges of Iraqi gang warfare against Saddy The Nut Hussein, the unstable oil bootlegger rubbed out in a gang slaying last year following his long struggle against southside mobster Shortie Bush.

INSIDE: WHAT DID LUCKY HAVE ON MAYOR BROWN? asks Paul Dacre

"Probably fuck-all" says Trib Editor Lou Gratte