Word comes my way of Mr Will Bottom's triumphant victory over his extremely ample form. The celebrated author has taken time out from studying mirrors in order to reduce his weight.
Bottom....before
Thankfully, friends averr that Will's ego has remained the same size: he still carries several spare pens lest fans might ask him to sign copies of his latest book The Rut I'm In.
Will....after
Sharp political observer Bottom is said to be working on a new tomeThe Shape We're In, a coruscating attack on overweight people. BBC anchorman and Resistance Leader Jeremiah Purist is also on the record as saying that M&S undies are not big enough to contain his tumescent intellect.
Maxman....engorged
Puck knows
The inside dirt on the inside track from the inside out looking in from the outside on the outsize lives of the insiders who just don't care if it's cold outside
| Can anyone tell me why East Devon Celebrity County Councillor Ben Tasninebobnote has not as yet been caught? |
TV chef badboy and fucking idiot Boredom Ramsarse is to rejuvenate Series 4 of Hell's Kitchen by cutting off anatomical parts whenever some fucking stupid c**t of a sous-chef gets on his fucking nerves and fucking right too, Ramsarse, you tell the dozy fuckers
Boredom....can't stop saying 'fuck'
Said Ratings Tsar Mark Kopya, "Boredom felt he had to get right back to the meat of the problem by adding an element of raw butchery into the show. Focus groups told us that Phew Firmly-Slaughtersall scored higher on the 'red in tooth and claw' dimension, and so this is what BR has come up with as a straw man....as well as upping the fuck per sentence ratio, natch."
I hear from my African friends that man-about-ninety Rob Mugabe has decided to buy an election for his ninety-first birthday. He told captured crowds in Harare recently that this was the one luxury he required now that his collection of Opposition skulls is complete
Black Bob....much admired